by Emily Moore | Co-Editor in Chief
As 2012 becomes more of an afterthought, and a mistaken year written on homework assignments, I thought it only fitting to call 2012 out on all of the promises it didn’t keep. From a superstitious belief that there wouldn’t be another January, to a whole slew of movies not worth the cost of matinee, it’s fair to say that 2013 sure has a lot slack to pick up. Without further hesitation, I give you the biggest disappointments of 2012:
5. The Mayans were wrong. I am not, by any means, saying that I am disappointed to still be alive. Merely commenting on the gesture that hundreds of people sold their belongings, packed up their camping gear, and took to the lonesome hills of Mexico for nothing. After a swift 17 years of hearing “Not like this test matters, the world will be gone by the time I graduate,” and “Better do it before December,” I thought it a convenient excuse to drop out of high school and become a famous journalist on my own. Besides, it’s not the like Pythagorean Theorem is going to help sell newspapers.
4. Tim Tebow’s lack of actual game play. Much ado about nothing, indeed. After countless discussions about the rising stars fate, Tebow was finally traded off to the Jets, to rule the field once again. Well, at least that’s what everyone thought. Tebow gained a whopping one snap a game, and a seemingly permanent spot on the bench.
3. Kinect Star Wars’ obvious desire to be a dance game. Have you seen the screenshots? I mean, when you think of a marriage between being a remote control and George Lucas’ masterpiece of a film, you think lightsabers and big explosions and cool techy things. Of course, this being 2012, that didn’t happen. The classic scene of Princess Lea having to dance for Jabba the Hut is screaming for Just Dance’s approval. I mean, come on Lucas, first you sell your proverbial soul to the Disney cult mindset, and now you let your brain child become just another ‘has been’ from the 80’s.
2. Yet another Tim Burton-Johnny Depp train wreck. There comes a time when you have to stop and ask yourself how many times you’re going to let Johnny Depp kill your wife. Well, not always, but way too often for Tim Burton. It seems the man has a deep pitted desire for a divorce, or some sick aversion for his marital issues, and sees Depp as the cure. Dark Shadows is the newest project for the Burton/Depp wonder team, and feels just as half-baked and shunned as the rest of their ‘films.’ Back in the day, the wonder twins were able to create simply stunning movies, such as Edward Scissorhands and Big Fish, but lately, it’s felt as if Burton is just scraping fish off the bottom of the barrel.
1. School shootings are actually happening.My dad tells me stories of when he went to high school, and all the avid hunters had actual guns in the gun racks of their trucks. Imagine. Actual guns on an actual school campus, and nothing happens. I’m not sure what poisoned the mindset of this country, but it’s a shame that something did. I mean, what kind of a world are we living in when we have to actively practice a defense to someone coming in and intentionally harming others. Maybe it’s the ‘we don’t call 911’ mindsets of the world, or the seemingly ever present lack of American self-esteem that hinders our abilities to stop from crossing that line. Regardless, this crux needs to be reversed.
