by Emily Moore | co- Editor in Chief
The second that Melbrech hands you that diploma, the second you drive away from the Freeman Coliseum, the minute you get home, get out of your cap and gown, plop down on the couch, and open an ice-cold Coke; that’s when summer starts. You can either spend it out on the town, with endless nights on the beach, and cute boys with killer bods, or you can just forget about all the hassle, save your money, and waste your summer. Here’s how:
1-Sleep. Since you spent all school year juggling BC Calculus, AP European History and APES; you know you deserve it. Not to mention need it. So, skip the sunshine and the surf lessons, grab the Pillow Pet you tell everyone you got four years ago, and hit the hay.
2-Netflix. Whether its Archer, Arrested Development, Hemlock Grove, or Malcolm in the Middle, there are more than enough hours of mind-numbing, soul sucking, pointless shows, movies, and Indian musicals to waste your summer on. The hardest part here would be deciding what to watch first.
3-Working. Because at the end of the summer you’re going to be too tired to spend that money. Not to mention too burnt out from working 60 hour weeks to even slightly enjoy the first-day-of-college feeling.
4-Tanning. Which, we all know is just sleeping outdoors, while making the sun do all the work. I mean, how important is it to make your skin three shades darker? I personally don’t see the point. It’s hot, and you get all sweaty, and gross. Last time I checked, skin cancer doesn’t make you attractive; but by all means, squirt on an extra layer of tanning oil.
5-Reading. Need to prove to your friends that you actually are as hipster as your playlists suggest? Well then, grab a copy of Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier, The House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski, or literally anything by the master of nitty gritty literature, Charles Bukowski, and plop yourself down with a quad espresso and get to reading. Besides, with all the money you’re making working, you can afford to blow your savings on soy lattes.
Summer: to many an ever raging party, a non stop fest of hoodlum rule breaking, and an escape from the torment of authority and posterity that is high school. In other words, the perfect time to stay indoors, save your cash (and your brain cells), and to invest in some common sense. Besides, ten years from now, your sunburn will be long gone, your “friends” won’t remember your name; but at least your bank account will always be there for you.
