by Courtney Smith | Editor in Chief
Prom is a signature element in the American high school experience. The right of passage dance is one of the few events in your life where you spend five times as long as usual getting ready to dance in a room full of hot and sweaty teenagers. Nevertheless – love it or hate it – here are the 15 thoughts you’re likely to have while getting ready for prom.
If there is a God, this dress will still fit
Even if you bought the dress a day before, this fear definitely kicks in at full force the day of the dance. Maybe brought on by nerves or the frequent trips to Whataburger, but hearing the zip of the dress brings an instant wave of relief.
How long do I have to get ready until mom barges in with the camera?
If it can happen to me – it can happen to you. Suddenly your parents own fifteen cameras, their phone doesn’t seem to die, and they chase you around the house like you’re Rihanna or something.
That better not be a zit.
Why, hormones, WHY?
How much makeup is too much? Is this stuff sweat-proof?
Nice dresses automatically means that you turn to your favorite Urban Decay palette and attempt to recreate a look you saw on YouTube, only to scrub it off three times and do it over again. Why? Prom, duh!
Mom is here.
*slowly turns down music and attempts to do eyeliner as camera is shoved in face*
Hopefully nobody else has this dress…
At a huge school like Johnson, this thought is one of the most intimidating because – no matter how much your friends assure you – you already know you might see someone else trying to rock your look.
Please tell me that’s just my ankle breaking and not my shoes already hurting.
Sure nobody can see the shoes, but they match the dress and cost almost as much, so when they start to hurt it feels like a personal betrayal.
…So will my curfew be pushed back?
As you and your friends/date send snapchats back and forth about the prom plan and everything the night will entail, you wonder if your curfew will be pushed back and, if it’s not, how worth it the consequences will be.
Finally ready – picture time!
Before you head to the photo spot with your group, you have to take a few selfies for the ‘gram.
My mouth hurts.
Five hundred photos later and you’re finally released by your parents to stop smiling- for now.
What if I stab my date with a boutonniere? Can I come back from that?
You may not have to worry about this if you’re going with friends, but pinning a boutonniere to your date is more terrifying than answering the phone after eight missed calls from your mom DON’T FIGHT ME ON THIS.
Can I even eat in this thing?
Putting a napkin in your lap has never been so normal.
I heard the music was lame last year. It better not be lame.
Dancing is already awkward enough, so bad music doesn’t help anyone here. 2008 was music’s prime time anyway- play some of that, DJ.
I have never felt more “adult” and more childish at the same time…ever.
Prom is the only night of your life where you get to go to a nice dinner, dance, dress up, and stay out late on (usually) somebody else’s dime. Chaperones watch you dance and adults dining at your restaurant of choice are bound to look at you and someone will always say “awwww” or “how cute”! So, while you and your crew are feelin’ yourselves, you also know that to your parents and teachers you still seem young.
Time to dance – oh I’m awkward- I call this the “senior sway”- please don’t step on my dress, guys.
Once you get to the dance the only thing to do next it- well- dance, but the crowded dance floor won’t take away the foreboding fear that someone will rip your dress or do some other terrible thing to it. Although you might worry about your dance moves, don’t worry- everyone does- but the whole room turns into a mosh pit anyways. You’ll be fine, try to have fun!
